Schizoid life-2


Schizoids are a personality type who are not capable of being sociable – participating in neighbourhood meetings,

religious gatherings, political parties, multi-course meals with colleagues, etc.

We have difficulty fitting into society, both in the workplace and in relationships.

 But, no matter how we live our lives, there will always be instances where we are forced to be sociable.

 Though we try to fit in, we always feel under pressure, constrained, and maladjusted.

  2 - Can I fall in love?

No, not in the same way that other people do. We feel tenderness  towards a partner, rather than love.

 Thus the relationship will be tender, rather than passionate.  As schizoids, we can have a partner.  

This may reward us with feelings of  satisfaction, self esteem, and a degree of hope.. Our partners

 should not expect us to be passionate, to lose our heads, to be affectionate,

 to express our love physically or in words.

 Nevertheless, although this kind of behaviour does not come naturally to us, it is not impossible. In fact some

 of us are have stable marriages.


  If you are an accepted part of a ‘group’ at work,  you will not be ganged-up against since the group will protect you.

 If you know to defend yourself, to display anger, or if you're capable of doing harm to others,

 they will think twice before harassing you.

 If not, and  you're totally isolated and non-aggressive, you may be picked on by certain people.

The schizoid is a good target for bullies to gang up against.

 On two occasions, I have personally been the subject of bullying

 by colleagues. However, since they were only colleagues, and not in a position of authority over me,

 they could do me little harm.

4-The schizoid sense of humour

You are in the company of colleagues and/or friends. Everyone appears to be jovial, and in the mood for laughter.

 They exchange amusing stories, and everyone laughs.

The more they laugh, the more absurd and lewd the stories become.

 There are shrieks of laughter. You, in the meantime, are bewildered by it all – you find nothing amusing.

However, if you don’t join in, they may rebuke you, or even make fun of you. In addition, you have

 the unpleasant impression of being out of place ... ---- If you decide to join in and laugh like the rest,

your laughter will sound false and you will feel uncomfortable. We seldom express our sense of humour

in the form of laughter, but rather in a more sophisticated manner - through irony, sarcasm,

 and clever jokes – and never in obscenities.

5- A schizoid wedding

The day I got married, I went to the local Catholic church.  The bride was dressed in a plain, smart suit. There were only

4 guests present: one of my sisters, my sister’s boyfriend, a friend of mine, and a friend of my bride.

 This little wedding party made their way towards the altar.

A photographer arrived – the same one who hears

of weddings and just turns up. I approached him and asked him to leave. The priest finally arrived and the 7 of us

stood before the altar to begin the ceremony. There was no music, no flowers, no lights, no parades, no audience,

 no guests, no religious mass.

The priest exchanged some words with us regarding marriage. The ritual speech was made, and the ceremony ended.

 The entire procedure lasted only 10 minutes. We signed the religious and civil agreements in the sacristy – where there was

 a government employee,  We all left, and looked for a place to have lunch together. This all was in the Spain of 1978.

 I found that wedding bearable.

 A conventional wedding would have been far too embarrassing. I have to add that, my parents

who lived in the same town, did not attend.

 Today, after 30 years, that marriage still holds and, within our capability, we are happy.

6- The need to belong

To some extent, the success of humans as a species lies in the fact that they are sociable. Today, just the feeling

of belonging to a group, makes us feel good.

For most people, being part of a group occurs spontaneously,

so they never feel what it’s like to be excluded. However, the schizoid, lives outside the group and even outside the family

either from choice or because he does not fit in. Yet, inside him, there is a deep yearning to belong,

 to be part of something, to be special to someone. However, since the schizoid never fully integrates into society,

 this feeling will remain with him forever.

7- If you tell people that you are schizoid...

... they probably will not  understand you. Some may suspect that you are schizophrenic, or that you are crazy. 

They may create a stigma which you will find hard to shake.

 Thus it is advisable not to even mention the word, schizoid.

And, if you feel compelled to admit to something, then rather say you are shy or an introvert.

 [You may even say you are bipolar .

 But, whatever you do, avoid saying you are maniac-depressive because this is sure to lead to problems]


Site updated on March 2013  .  Copyright (c)