schizoids.info

LACK  OF  SELF-CONFIDENCE 

 A problem created by failure  

 "During the worst time of my life, one of the attributes that I lacked was confidence in myself.

 I could not be assertive, nor present myself to others.

 it was almost too painful for me to do anything  ...

 I could not go anywhere, nor be part of anything.

 I was a dwarf, scared and intimidated by the World.

The profound insecurity I felt sometimes made me think:

 "If I continue like this, I will be too fearful to breathe"

 Only in solitude, in the sanctuary of my room, could I regain my dignity.

 There I could read, write, think and be objective. There I could be a person "

 Mikel (Author)

 

 Social psychologists agree that self-confidence is one of the requirements for psychological well-being (happiness).

 The loss or lack of self-confidence is a problem that can affect anyone.

 For schizoids, this problem is difficult to escape because,

  though they try, according to conventional norms, to succeed at work or in relationships,

their efforts fail repeatedly.

This continuous sense of failure, eventually causes their self-confidence to crumble.

 

 1 - GENETIC INHERITANCE AND ENVIRONMENT  

Like many other human qualities, both genetics and the environment play a role in self-confidence.

However, self-confidence is not immutable, and life experiences may increase or decrease a person’s self-confidence at different times throughout life.

Thus, the opportunity does exist to improve our self-confidence.

 

 2 – SELF-CONFIDENCE ALLOWS US TO DO THE FOLLOWING:

 - defend oneself

 -  present oneself

 -  ask questions

 - handle criticism

 -  express ourselves

 - Say NO

 - make requests

 -  negotiate

 - begin or terminate conversations

- give thanks and apologize 

 

 3 –  SELF-CONFIDENCE IS BOOSTED BY THE FOLLOWING:

 **  positive events in your life

 **  the support you receive

 **  expectations of good

 ** the affection you receive,

 ** social networks that support you,

 ** achieving success

 ** friends and allies

 **  knowing that you are loved and valued

 **  having someone at your side

 **  working productively

 **  enjoying life ....

 

 4 – THE FOLLOWING DIMINISH YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE:

when everything goes badly

 when all doors of opportunity seem to shut

 when you have no personal sanctuary

 when your personal tasks become impossible

 when you feel alone and isolated

 when you feel that you mean nothing to anyone

 when you do not succeed

 when you fail in the working environment  

 when you fail to establish a social support network

 when you do not have a viable life plan or goal

 when you have no idea how to move your life forward  ....

  

5 - HOW TO RECOVER SELF-CONFIDENCE

 Working on point 3, and specifically on the aspects that depend on you

 ** actively seek a way to succeed at anything, however small

 ** holding down a job  

 **  being productive

 ** developing your natural abilities

 ** being useful in the community

 **  taking pleasure in something

 **  avoiding isolation

 ** having a life plan or a goal

 

6- ASSERTIVENESS

Assertiveness is the quality that enables us to present or assert ourselves to others.

Being assertive also enables us to defend ourselves against possible abuse.

   Sometimes assertiveness is presented as a separate quality but,

in reality, it is inexorably linked with self-confidence.

So, everything that applies to self-confidence, also applies to assertiveness.

Page created in December 2011 © Copyright

LACK