Hikikomori

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Hikikomori

Those who shut themselves in their rooms

1- The Hikikomori

The term ‘Hikikomori’ is a term originally used to describe young Japanese boys who lock themselves in their rooms

for months and years, and refuse to come out. The term refers to the person’s inability to adapt to society ...

In Spain, there are also isolated cases, and each family deals with it as they can.

It appears that some part of Hikikomori may be schizoid...

We can say that a Hikikomori is a boy who, on the one hand,does not integrate into society and remains imprisoned at home;

and who, on the other hand, does not support his parents and remains in his room. The relationship problems

of a Hikikomori are serious, and his personal situation is dire. The parents, caught up in a conflict which exceeds their limits:

----are cautioned not to dramatize the situation and make it worse;

---- are encouraged to seek assistance from institutions, especially if the boy is a minor;

---- are discouraged from believing that things will “settle down’ and ‘resolve themselves” because the boy

may spend years like this; ---- are encouraged to seek advice from someone who has no connection

with the parents, and who has never been involved with the boy –

perhaps a psychologist whom the boy can trust.

Between them, the psychologist and the Hikikomori will have to reintegrate the Hikikomori into society at a realistic pace.

2- A boundary

In the first years of his life, the attempts of the hikikomori to socialize are usually negative.

The accumulation of these experiences leads to insecurity : the belief that any of his attempts to socialize,

always end in failure. The door of the house becomes a boundary. Inside is a refuge, outside lies failure.

All failures have occurred beyond the home and, as a result, he feels unable to leave.

3- Hikikomori’s hidden messages

Whoever approaches the hikikomori should consider their hidden messages:

REBELLION

“I stubbornly reject living the life that I have to live. “I am not interested in playing a game, in which society dictates the rules.”

“I do not want a war in which I am announced the loser. “I resist my father who places pressure on me to conform.”

DEFEAT

“I am not equipped to compete in this competitive world. “For others, everything is simple. “For me, everything is difficult.”

“I cannot fit in anywhere. “Life makes no sense.”

MOOD

“I am afraid. “I feel bad. “I feel insecure everywhere except in my room. “I want to be alone. “I don’t want to see anyone.”

DESPAIR

“Everything makes me fearful, life itself is fearful. “I do not trust anyone, and nobody understands me. “I feel isolated and lost in the world.”

Mikel’s TESTIMONY :

“I am also somewhat of a Hikikomori...”

“...For me the house door is also a boundary, beyond which there is something which makes me

feel unsafe. Voluntarily, I spend my time inside my house, and when I cross the doorstep,

I feel some discomfort. This feeling is automatic and, despite the years, it has never disappeared.

In the past, that unpleasant sensation was very strong. Currently I consider myself to be adapted. But I still notice something,

even though it has lessened.

When I consider my own problems with venturing beyond my house door, I understand the hikikomori,

and realize that I, too,have been somewhat hikikomori.

The scene of the hikikomori, a frightened boy, locked in his room, occurs in varying degrees

in adults who feel unsafe when they leave their homes, and their perceived safe boundary.

........................................................................THE AUTHOR

( See Treatment )

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