schizoids.info
Uneasiness in social relations
In social relations, the
schizoid’s inherent
feeling is one of indifference and discomfort.
1 - The schizoid and the avoidant
In DSM-I and
DSM-2, the avoidant group was not mentioned. Instead, their traits were
included in the schizoid group.
In DSM-III, the schizoid and avoidant appear in different groups for the first
time.
The social relations of the schizoid are dominated by indifference. The avoidant’s, by intense anxiety.
In the high grade schizoid, this definition is obvious. However, in the low to
medium schizoid,
indifference may also
be accompanied by different levels of anxiety. Nevertheless, these people
remain classified as schizoid – low to
medium.
It’s just that they may also
experience anxiety in social situations.
2. The source of security
In nature, the purpose of animals
is simply to eat, and not be eaten.
Anyone can observe that a wild animal has its own personal space. If we enter
this space,
the animal flees
…..In modern times, humans live in secure environments, and are no longer so
sensitive
to anyone invading
their personal space.
Bear in mind that, like other
animals, our ancestors also had their own personal space.
Though modern humans no longer
feel this need as intensely, the need for personal space
remains part of our
genetic makeup,
and may still be acted upon by some
people, especially those who are schizoid avoidant..
Their fear is triggered when they feel that someone – as though that someone
has been watching them
– has invaded their space.
Their fear is irrational,
uncontrollable – and not unlike a wild animal’s..
Some schizoid avoidants
say that they flee social relations because “they feel invaded
”.
Others
state only that they “need to flee”.
3- Harmonize man-risk-escape with man-friend-comfort
In the
beginning there were living organisms. Some species survived, while others
became extinct.
The successful
species developed instinctive strategies which enabled them to survive.
The most
important instincts for species survival are self-preservation, and
reproduction.
One of
the sources which triggered and activated the instinct for self-preservation, was fear.
Thus,
fear has become a tool for survival.
When a
life-threatening situation is detected, discomfort increases as the danger
increases.
Eventually, this discomfort turns to fear and
panic.
The
entire range of
emotions is regulated by the brain.
Through
time, the human brain evolved to become less primitive.
However
fear remained a dominant emotion, and emotions are
still controlled by the primitive brain,
in the gland called the amygdala.
As a
result, fear has remained an instinctive, unreasonable, and automatic response
to perceived threat.
The
influence of the evolved brain – the thinking and reasoning one – has little
effect on the emotion of fear.
Thus, it
is difficult, if not impossible, to control fear through reason.
Over
time, emotions and affection have evolved from being purely instinctive.
Nevertheless, they still have
their origin in the primitive brain.
The
response to a perceived threat remains instinctive and automatic in all humans.
The
response is fear.
Unfortunately,
the schizoid avoidant, instinctively perceives another
human being as a threat (to survival).
This
triggers fear, and the need to flee.
Fear to
man of avoidant schizoid is not adaptive.
The adaptive
harmonize man-risk-escape with man-friend-comfort.
The
avoidant schizoid active man-risk-escape when the adaptive is
man-friend-comfort.
4- Inability to learn through
experience
Every day,
our nervous system records new experiences which lead to learning.
These
learned lessons are carved into our memory, and influence our behaviour.
So,
through experience, we know that some things are pleasurable, some are not,
And that others should be avoided because they are dangerous.
If the
consequences of a particular action are repeatedly bad, we learn that we should
avoid it in future.
However,
if that same action ceases to cause harm, even though we may be wary we learn
that there is no reason to avoid it any
longer.
Having to cope with situations which threaten our well-being, will result
in tension and discomfort.
Daily
experience teaches us that there is no danger in social connection,
We learn that there is nothing to
fear since nothing bad happens and you’re not assaulted, or harmed in any way.
But
people who suffer from social anxiety are incapable of learning this.
This learning is rational, and has
no influence on social fear, which is primitive and related to the primitive, instinctual life.
Thus learning through experience has
no effect on social fear.
It is as
though, at an early age, something has been broken and cannot be mended.
Not even
with something as convincing as one’s own experience.
5- Eye Contact
When two people meet, they may shake hands in
greeting.
The covert message in their greeting is, ‘I come in
peace. ‘Here is my hand, I am not armed’.
The act of shaking hands shows friendship, and it is usually accompanied by mutual eye contact.
Then, they have a conversation. The one who speaks
looks the other one in the eye.
The one who listens also looks the speaker in the
eye.
Eye contact is established. Eyes are expressive.
Their eyes meet without fear.
There is communication, there is empathy, there is enjoyment, there is this message:
“You’re
friend, you help me and I feel well”
Some people
are uncomfortable with maintaining eye contact.
This severs the
eye contact and the conversation loses its honesty.
In addition, the body language says: ‘I don’t feel comfortable, and I want to end
this as soon as possible’.
The other person may feel that the body language is saying: ‘I
don’t like you, I don’t want your friendship’.
Some people may not even try to establish eye
contact, and look in another direction.
And, if they do meet the other person’s eyes, they
do so quickly and elusively, without actually establishing eye contact.
Schizoid people often have difficulty establishing
eye contact.
(This web page is available …..in Spanish …….in French)
Webpage updated on February 2012 .
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