Uneasiness in social relationships

1 – The space of security

Wild horses : if you go into the area of security, they will go...

Out of our farms the animal life is present with a purpose simple: to eat and not to be eaten.
Anyone can observe how the animals of the forest have his security space. If we entered , the animal flees...
The human beings now they live in sure spaces and we are not sensitive to our security space. Remember that our ancestors had this security space...
However nowadays this space and the fear that appears when someone invades this space, it is still present in our genetic arsenal , in some individuals and among them in someone schizoid..
This dread emerges when the subject feels that someone - as if he/she was observing – invades their security space . The dread is irrational, uncontrollable. In this point the subject go.

Some schizoids say that they flee of social relations because “they are invaded ”. Others only assert that “need to flee”.

2- Hypothesis 1nd : a “error” of the evolution

In the beginning there were the living beings. Some species survived and others were extinguished. The successful species developped the adequate resources to survive. Among these resources the instincts are standing out:

The self-preservation and reproduction.

One of the sources that triggered and activated the instinct of self-preservation is fear. Fear has risen as a useful mechanism for survival.

When a bad situation concerning the survival is detected, a feeling of discomfort arises, and as the danger is increasing, the felling passes on to fear and panic.

The part which regulates the full range of anxious emotions lies in the brain.

During the path of evolution the human being develops a new brain over the old one and the mechanism of the fear wins in nuances, but the control headquarters remain in the old brain, specifically in a gland called amygdala.

Our mechanism of fear still has its instinctive nature, with its characteristics of unreasonableness and automation.

The influence of the new brain, the thinking and the reasoning on the emotions of fear is scarce.

It is difficult to control our fears by reasoning with them.

Sometimes it is impossible.

With time the emotions and affections are developped from the first instincts, but they still have their base in the old brain.

The verification of a threat remains an instinctive and automatic evaluation.

This instinctive nature of fear leads, in the case of a schizoid to an unfortunate reality:

the system automatically evaluates and interprets the presence of another human being as bad (for survival), and a corresponding emotion of fear in any of their ranges is triggered.

. 3 - Hypothesis 2nd: Need of affection

Sometimes is compared to the schizoid with the histrionic , pointing out that
every trait of one is corresponded with the opposed thing in the other:
one does not support to pass unnoticed (histrionic)
and another does not support to be the focus of attention (schizoid).
However...
It is possible that the two have the same route initial,
with opposed final exit.
Both need the parental fondness and attention
and they fight desperately for this reason.
a) the histrionic use his excellent sympathy dowries
b) the schizoid , without those dowries, fail, he “swallows” the conflict,
and they develop a problem, first with his parents
and later with any human figure.
He/she is traumatized and is moved away of the people despite the fact that
he/she needs their affection .

4- Inaccessible of Learning

Every day our nervous system is recording new experiences, which lead to learning. These lessons will be converted into patterns that will influence our behavior.

So we will come to know that something will produce satisfaction, will cause problems, and something else is dangerous.

If a particular situation affects us again and again with some sort of damage we learn that it is bad and that it should be avoided.

If the same situation ceases to cause harm we will learn that now it is not bad anymore, and that there is no reason to avoid it, although we will have some prevention because of previous experiences.

Having to cope with situations of danger for our well-being, will make us feel tension and unrest.

The daily experience in reality teaches the social anxious that in social relations there is no danger, that there's nothing to fear, that nothing bad ever happens to you, that you're not assaulted ...

But this learning is incapable of entering into the functioning of the mechanism of social fear.

It should, because the person knows and learns about it, but this is not the case.

This learning which has a more rational character, is incapable of changing the structure of social fear, which is more primitive, more related to the primitive instinctual life.

The fear remains inaccessible to social learning.

It's as if at an early age there had been a "punch", which cannot be changed, even with something as convincing as the one’s experiences.

5- Eye Contact

When two people meet they shake their hands to greet. The hidden meaning of that act is that both say: ‘I come in peace. Here is my hand, it is not armed.’

Then friendship is shown by shaking each other hand. The hand shaking and eye contact must be done simultaneously.

Then, they have a conversation. The one who speaks looks the other one in the eye, which is the most expressive part. The one who listens also looks the speaker in the eye.

Eye contact is established.

Their eyes meet without fear.

There is communication, there is empathy.

Some people, and among those some schizoids, when establishing eye contact, get a bad feeling.

This people get away from the eye contact and the conversation looses its honesty.

The body language that gets lost in the process says: ‘I am not feeling well and I want to end this as soon as possible.’

Some speakers can think that the lack of that body language is saying: ‘I don’t like you, I don’t want your friendship.’

It can also happen that a person of those characteristics does not even try and establish eye contact, looks towards another directions. And when he/she quickly meets the speakers eye, he/she does it with elusive eyes, without stopping, without really establishing eye contact.

“Around 20 years, my problem with the gaze degenerated and it became an authentic phobia.

Every time someone appeared with the photographic camera to do me a picture, my alert system

was activated and I was altered...

40 years later I have not yet surpassed this phobia” (The author)

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